An interesting part of Ascent is how we support matching and the placement of children with our foster parents. One of the questions I’m often asked by prospective or new foster parents is: “How does the matching process really work, and what choices do I have as a foster parent?”
It’s a very valid question. Whether a child is coming into care for the first time or is needing to move from another foster home, there can be urgency and uncertainty—but there is also a need to put a lot of thought and care into making sure the right child is placed in the right home.
Matching is not about perfection (there’s no such thing as a perfect match), but it is about fit—fit for the child, and fit for the foster parent and their household. This is why the child placement process is approached with sensitivity and careful planning.
What Do We Mean by “Matching”?
Matching is the process of identifying a foster family that can best meet a child’s needs. Every child has their own early life experiences, needs, strengths, and challenges they need support in overcoming. Therefore, when a Local Authority approaches Ascent with a child that needs a foster home, we work closely with them and that child’s network (this includes, but is not exhaustive of, the placing officer, the child’s social worker, the child’s educational provision and key people in the child’s life). We think carefully about all these factors and consider which foster families, from their skills and experience to their family dynamics, are best placed to provide a safe and nurturing home.
Whilst it is important to think about the practical elements like the number of bedrooms or where they attend school, it’s also about ensuring we find the right match between foster parent and child, and that a child’s emotional needs, identity, trauma history, attachment styles, and personality are all considered.
This includes considering emotional needs, identity, trauma history, attachment styles, and personality when making foster care placement decisions. In many ways, this part of matching is similar to a foster family assessment, where we look at both the child’s needs and the foster family’s capacity to provide care.
What Information does a foster parent receive?
At Ascent, we work closely with the Local Authority to learn as much about the child as we possibly can so we can ensure the right match for both child and foster parent. Before a child is placed, you will receive a ‘referral’, which should provide a detailed description of the child. This will include:
- Age, gender, and cultural background
- Health needs and routines, hobbies
- Education history and current school provision
- Known behaviours, triggers, and support strategies
- Family time arrangements
- Any risks to consider (for example, running away or self-harm)
We will also ask for other information, such as school reports, chronologies, and care plans, and you will be able to think through with your Supervising Social Worker (SSW) and Therapeutic Consultant about the match.
The Role of Therapeutic Thinking in Matching
Therapeutic fostering requires us to look beyond the presenting behaviours a child may be displaying. As Ascent is a therapeutic fostering agency, we are keen to understand the why behind some behaviours. For example, a child who hoards food isn’t being “naughty”—they may have experienced neglect and are responding from a place of survival.
Therefore, when we’re matching, we’re not just asking: “Can this carer manage this behaviour?” but, “Can this carer offer the relational safety this child needs?” “Do they have the patience and capacity to co-regulate through big emotions?” and “Does their family environment give the child the best chance to heal?” We do not expect foster parents to be therapists but to be curious and use the two hands of therapeutic parenting; one hand, a foster parent is using boundaries, structure and routine and in the other, warmth, nurture and empathy.
What choices do foster parents have?
As a foster parent, you always have a choice. Matching is a conversation, not a one-way decision. You are never forced to accept caring for a child or young person. Saying yes or no is not about being “good” or “bad” at fostering—it’s about being honest about what’s possible for you and your household. Therefore, part of the matching process is an open conversation with your Supervising Social Worker (SSW) about the following elements:
- Capacity: Do you have the physical space, time, and energy right now? How would you balance the needs of the child alongside your existing lifestyle and commitments?
- Family dynamics: How might this child’s needs impact your own children, other foster children you are caring for or other household members?
- Skills and experience: Do you feel equipped to meet the child’s needs? What previous experience could you draw upon, or transferable skills, which would enable you to care for the child?
- Support networks: What support do you need? Who in your network can offer backup support or overnight stays? What training, resources or professional support from your SSW or Therapeutic Consultant would you benefit from?
Sometimes, foster parents worry about saying no, but from my perspective, I value honesty, and I want every foster family to feel confident when they agree to care for a child. This does not mean that they won’t feel challenged or stretched at times, but it is within a foster parent’s capacity with the wrap-around support Ascent provide.
Final Thoughts
Matching is at the heart of fostering. It’s not always easy, and sometimes a child being placed in a foster family can happen quickly, but there is always thought, care, and therapeutic understanding behind the process.
As a foster parent, your role is not just to provide a bed—it’s to provide stability, nurture, and hope. And your choices matter. By working together—social workers, foster parents, and local authorities—we can create matches that give children not just safety, but the chance to begin healing and thriving.
By Sita Alexander, Fostering Director
If you would like to find out more about fostering and the amazing difference you could make in a young persons life. Give usa call on 0203 757 0070 or click HERE to receive a call back. We’d be happy to answer any questions you may have on fostering and take you through the process.