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The Other 23 Hours: Why Therapeutic Foster Carers Change Lives

Happy multigenerational people having fun sitting on grass in a public park

This may seem an unusual blog for a Child and Adolescent Therapist to write. However, throughout my working career and extensive training, I have always believed that one of the most vital parts of a child’s healing journey and often the hardest work, is the unconditional care they receive outside the therapy hour. During my training, I remember challenging a psychiatrist who spoke about how difficult the work was, with many in the group agreeing. I found myself saying, “We see the child for one session a week; carers are with them day and night, holding so much more in mind.” Suffice to say, my comment was not met with universal warmth!

When a child enters foster care, they often arrive with more than belongings. They may carry the invisible weight of Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs, such as neglect, abuse, domestic abuse, parental mental health difficulties, addiction, separation, loss, instability, or chronic fear.

These experiences shape how children see themselves, adults, relationships, safety, and the world. Many have learned that adults may not be trustworthy, emotions can feel unsafe, closeness may lead to rejection, and staying constantly alert is necessary for survival.

Therapy, education, specialist support, and professional intervention all matter. But healing does not happen only in a therapy room for one hour a week.

Healing happens in “the other 23 hours.”

It happens in the ordinary, repeated, relational moments of daily life at breakfast, on the school run, during bedtime routines, after an argument, when a child refuses help, when they test boundaries, when they are frightened but cannot say so, and when they slowly begin to believe that this adult may not give up on them.

This is where foster carers become absolutely central to recovery.

What Do We Mean by “The Other 23 Hours”?

The phrase “the other 23 hours” reminds us that while therapy or professional support may offer one focused hour, most healing happens through daily relationships with carers.

For children in foster care, carers provide far more than accommodation, meals, routines, and transport. They create the relational environment where safety, trust, emotional regulation, and recovery can begin.

The other 23 hours include:

  • Responding calmly when a child is dysregulated.
  • Using a steady tone when setting boundaries.
  • Providing predictable routines.
  • Showing kindness after difficult behaviour.
  • Repairing after conflict.
  • Staying emotionally present when the child pushes away.
  • Offering daily messages of safety, worth, and reliability.

For children who have experienced ACEs, these moments are the foundations and building blocks of healing.

Children Do Not Heal Through Consequences — They Heal Through Relationships

Children who have experienced trauma often communicate distress through behaviour. They may appear angry, controlling, withdrawn, defiant, clingy, dishonest, impulsive, or shut down. Viewed only through a behavioural lens, these responses can be misunderstood.

Trauma-informed care asks a different question.

Instead of asking, “What is wrong with this child?”
we ask, “What happened to this child, and what do they need now?”

  • Refusing instructions may be a way to regain control in a world that has felt unsafe.

  • Lying may reflect past experiences where honesty led to punishment or rejection.

  • Sabotaging good moments may come from fear of depending on adults.

  • Exploding over small changes may signal a nervous system already primed for threat.

Foster carers meet these behaviours in real time. Their responses can reinforce a child’s belief that adults are unsafe, or gently offer a new experience: an adult who stays calm, curious, boundaried, and connected. This does not mean accepting unsafe behaviour; it means holding boundaries within a safe relationship.

Predictability Is Therapeutic

For children with ACEs, life has been unpredictable: who would care for them, whether adults were emotionally available, whether home was safe, or whether their needs would be met. In foster care, predictability will be therapeutic as it instils rhythms and routines.

Regular meals, school routines, bedtime rituals, clear expectations, and reassurance all communicate safety to the child’s brain and body, gradually reducing the need for hypervigilance. A predictable carer says, through action:

  • “You do not have to guess what comes next.”
  • “Your needs will be noticed.”
  • “Adults can be reliable.”
  • “You can begin to relax.”

This takes time. Children do not simply abandon survival strategies because they are now safer; they need repeated experiences of safety before they can trust it.

Co-Regulation Comes Before Self-Regulation

Children who have experienced trauma are often expected to “calm down,” “make better choices,” or “think before they act.” Yet many have not had enough early experiences of being soothed by a safe adult, affecting their ability to manage emotions, impulses, and stress.

Before children can consistently self-regulate, they often need co-regulation.

Co-regulation is an adult lending calm to a child who cannot yet find their own. This may mean:

  • Lowering your voice rather than raising it.
  • Sitting nearby without overwhelming the child.
  • Reducing demands when the child is flooded.
  • Staying steady during conflict.
  • Repairing afterwards rather than withdrawing warmth.

This is emotionally demanding and requires patience, self-awareness, and support. But when children repeatedly experience an adult who does not escalate, shame, reject, or abandon them, their nervous system begins to learn a new pattern. Over time, they internalise the carer’s calm, and this is one of the most powerful ways foster carers support healing.

The Power of Repair

No foster carer will get it right all the time. Caring for children who have experienced trauma can be challenging, exhausting, and emotionally complex. There will be moments of frustration, misunderstanding, and rupture.

What matters most is not perfection. It is repair.

Repair teaches children that relationships can survive difficult moments. For those whose early relationships were shaped by fear, rejection, inconsistency, or loss, this can be transformational.

Repair might sound like:

  • “I’m sorry I raised my voice. I was frustrated, but I should have spoken more calmly.”
  • “You are not in trouble for big feelings, but we need safer ways to manage them.”

Repair reduces shame, teaches accountability without rejection, and shows that conflict does not have to mean abandonment.

This healing rarely happens in formal sessions alone. It happens around kitchen tables, in car journeys, at bedroom doors, and in quiet moments after the storm has passed.

Foster Carers Help Rewrite a Child’s Internal Story

Children who have experienced ACEs carry painful beliefs about themselves, such as:

  • “I am too much.”
  • “I am bad.”
  • “Adults leave.”
  • “I have to cope alone.”

Foster carers challenge these beliefs through hundreds of small, repeated experiences.

Each time a carer stays kind after a difficult day, notices a strength, returns after rejection, or separates the child from the behaviour, You are not bad; you are having a hard time”, shame softens. Over time, the child can begin to develop a new internal story:

  • “Maybe I am worth caring for.”
  • “Maybe adults can be safe.”
  • “Maybe I do not have to push everyone away.”
  • “Maybe I can be loved, even when I struggle.”

This is deep therapeutic work, and foster carers do it every day.

Love Is Not Always Enough — But The Relationship Is Essential

Children who have experienced ACEs need more than love alone. They may also need therapy, education support, life story work, sensory strategies, mental health support, advocacy, and multi-agency planning.

But without the daily trauma-informed foundation foster carers provide, professional interventions can struggle to take root.

  • A therapist may help a child understand their story; the foster carer helps them feel safe now.
  • A social worker may create the care plan; the foster carer lives it with the child each day.
  • A school may support learning; the foster carer helps the child recover from the emotional demands of the day.
  • A professional may offer strategies; the foster carer turns them into lived experience.

Foster carers bridge theory and healing.

They make trauma-informed care real.

Supporting the Carer Supports the Child

If foster carers are central to the other 23 hours, supporting them is essential.

Carers need:

  • High-quality trauma-informed training.
  • Regular supervisions and reflective therapeutic consultations.
  • Emotional support after difficult incidents.
  • Clear care plans and communication.
  • Timely, practical support.
  • Recognition of the emotional toll of fostering.
  • Kindness, warmth, and care.

When carers feel blamed, isolated, or unsupported, calm, consistent care becomes harder to sustain. When they are held by a supportive professional network, they are better able to hold the child. The system around the child must also wrap around the carer.

The Ordinary Moments Are Not Ordinary

It is easy to underestimate daily care. Breakfast, clean uniform, appointments, lifts, bedtime, homework, limits, listening, and showing up again can seem ordinary. But for a child shaped by fear, neglect, chaos, or loss, these ordinary acts can feel extraordinary.

They say:

  • “You are seen.”

  • “You are safe.”

  • “You are not alone.”

  • “Your needs matter.”

The other 23 hours are where trust is built, nervous systems settle, children test whether care is real, and adults gently prove that this relationship is different.

Final Thoughts

Foster carers are not simply looking after children until professionals step in; they are central to the healing system. For children who have experienced ACEs, recovery is rarely straightforward. It is built through repetition, patience, boundaries, nurture, repair, and relationship in everyday moments that seem small but matter deeply.

Therapy, professional networks, care plans, healthcare, and education all matter.

But the other 23 hours are vital.

In those 23 hours, foster carers offer safe, steady, nurturing relationships that help children begin to believe they are worthy of care, connection, and hope.

Thank you to all our amazing foster carers.

 

 

 

 

 

 


If you would like to find out more about fostering and the amazing difference you could make in a young persons life. Give usa call on 0203 757 0070 or click HERE to receive a call back. We’d be happy to answer any questions you may have on fostering and take you through the process.

Can You Work and Be a Foster Carer?

Many people are interested in fostering but worry that they will need to give up their job. This is not always the case.

So, can you work and be a foster carer? Yes, it is often possible to work while fostering. You may be able to work full-time, part-time, from home or on a self-employed basis.

However, every fostering household is different. Whether your job can fit around fostering will depend on your working hours, how flexible your employer is and the needs of the child in your care.

Fostering involves much more than providing a spare bedroom. You must be available when a child needs care, comfort or support. You may also need to attend meetings, training sessions, school events and family time arrangements.

The aim is not to stop you from working. It is to make sure that your job and fostering duties can work well together.

Can You Foster and Work Full Time?

You may be able to foster while working full time, but it will depend on your circumstances.

Some full-time jobs offer flexible hours, remote working or the freedom to change plans at short notice. Other roles have fixed shifts or require long periods away from home.

As part of the assessment process, Ascent would explore how, alongside working, you could meet a child’s daily needs. This may include:

  • Taking them to and from school
  • Attending health appointments
  • Joining school meetings
  • Supporting family time arrangements with their birth family
  • Attending training
  • Meeting social workers and other professionals
  • Caring for them when they are ill or during the school holidays
  • Responding to unexpected problems

The government confirms that people in England may be able to work and foster. However, foster carers do not have a general statutory right to take time off work to care for a foster child.

This means it is important to think about how supportive and flexible your employer can be.

What Types of Work Fit Well With Fostering?

No particular job automatically makes someone suitable or unsuitable for fostering.

However, some working arrangements can be easier to combine with the role. These may include:

  • Part-time employment
  • Flexible or compressed hours
  • Self-employment
  • Working from home
  • Term-time employment
  • Shift work that fits around another carer’s hours

Flexibility is often more important than the total number of hours you work.

For example, working from home may seem ideal. However, you must still be able to stop working when a child needs your full attention.

A job outside the home may also be suitable if your employer allows flexible hours and you have reliable support in place.

How Does the Child’s Age Affect Your Working Hours?

The age and needs of the child can have a major effect on whether you can continue working.

Babies and young children

Babies and very young children need close care throughout the day. Nursery arrangements may not always be suitable, particularly when a child has recently entered care and needs time to build a secure relationship with their foster carer. Therefore, there may need to be a period of time where a carer can be flexible for a few weeks until it is deemed suitable by the professional network for them to begin nursery.

It may therefore be difficult to work regular full-time hours while fostering a baby or young child.

Most fostering arrangements about babies mean that there is a high level of family time arrangements due to their case being in court proceedings. This can mean these arrangements are up to five times per week, so it is also important to consider that.

School-age children

A child who attends school may fit more easily around some jobs. However, you will still need to cover school runs, holidays, appointments and days when the child is unwell.

Children in foster care may also need extra support before and after school. Their needs cannot always be managed around standard working hours.

Teenagers

Teenagers may be more independent in some areas, but they still need guidance, boundaries and emotional support.

They may need help with education, friendships, family contact and preparing for adult life. A foster carer must remain available and involved, even if the young person does not need constant supervision.

Does the Type of Fostering Make a Difference?

Different types of foster care place different demands on your time.

Short-term fostering

Short-term fostering arrangements can last for days, months or sometimes longer. The child may have several appointments and meetings while plans are made for their future.

You may need a high level of flexibility, especially when the child first arrives.

Long-term fostering

Long-term fostering may provide a more settled routine. This can make it easier to plan work and childcare.

However, long-term carers must still be available for school meetings, family time arrangements and any changing needs as the child grows.

Emergency fostering

Emergency fostering arrangements can begin with very little notice. Children may arrive at any time of the day or night.

This type of fostering may be harder to manage alongside fixed working hours because you need to be ready to respond quickly.

Stay-over breaks fostering.

Ascent Stay over Breaks (sometimes known as respite) foster carers usually provide care for short, planned periods. This may include weekends, school holidays or occasional overnight stays.

It can be a suitable choice for people who cannot commit to a full-time placement but still want to support children and other fostering families.

Will I Need Time Off Work for Foster Care?

You may need time away from work for meetings, training and appointments.

Unlike adoptive parents, most foster carers do not have a general legal right to foster care leave. Your employer may still offer paid or unpaid leave as part of its workplace policies.

It can help to speak to your employer before you begin fostering. You could ask about:

  • Flexible working
  • Changing your start and finish times
  • Working from home
  • Emergency leave
  • Unpaid leave
  • Flexitime
  • Reducing your hours
  • Foster-friendly workplace policies

You do not need to have every detail arranged before making an initial enquiry. However, it is helpful to know what options may be available.

Can I Be Self-Employed and Foster?

Yes, self-employed people can become foster carers.

Self-employment may allow you to choose your hours and reduce your workload when a child moves in. However, it can also create challenges if your income depends on being available to clients at fixed times.

During your assessment, you may discuss:

  • How many hours you work
  • Whether you can change your schedule
  • How much time you spend away from home
  • What would happen during an emergency
  • Whether your income would remain stable
  • How you would manage school holidays

The Ascent team will look at the full picture rather than your job title alone.

Do I Need to Give Up Work During the Assessment?

You will not normally need to leave your job while you are being assessed.

You will need to make time for home visits, checks and preparation training. Your assessing social worker will also discuss how you plan to balance work with fostering.

This helps you explore whether changes may be needed before a child is placed with you.

You should not make a major decision, such as leaving your job, without first discussing it with your fostering agency and considering the financial effects.

What Will the Fostering Assessment (Form F) Consider?

Your assessing social worker will want to understand your working life and daily routine.

They may ask:

  • What hours do you work?
  • How long is your journey to work?
  • Can your hours change at short notice?
  • Can you attend daytime appointments?
  • Who will care for the child during school holidays?
  • What would happen if the child became ill?
  • Do you have supportive family members or friends?
  • Would fostering affect your household income?

These questions are not designed to catch you out. They help Ascent decide which types of fostering arrangements may be suitable for your household.

Can You Work and Foster With Ascent?

Yes, we’ve helped many carers who are employed full time.

Our team will take time to understand your job, household and support network. We can then discuss which types of fostering may suit your circumstances.

You do not need to decide whether to leave your job before speaking to us. An initial conversation can help you understand what may be possible and whether any changes would be needed.

Contact Ascent Fostering Agency today to ask a question and learn more about combining work with becoming a foster carer.

 

 

 

 

 

 


If you would like to find out more about fostering and the amazing difference you could make in a young persons life. Give usa call on 0203 757 0070 or click HERE to receive a call back. We’d be happy to answer any questions you may have on fostering and take you through the process.

The Lifelong Relationships Built Through Fostering

3 friends

The Lifelong Relationships Built Through Fostering by Carrie Cumpper, Senior Social Worker

One of the biggest misconceptions about fostering is that it ends when a young person turns 18. However, for the foster carers I work with at Ascent, the end of a placement does not mean the end of the relationship. Carers support young people into adulthood and beyond, remaining a key source of support at a time when they often need it most.

As a therapeutic fostering agency, we see time and time again that fostering is about more than just providing a home. It is about creating connections, building trust, and helping children develop a sense of belonging that lasts long after they leave care. It’s about helping them to see that relationships can be enduring, despite their early experiences often teaching them otherwise.

I have immense appreciation for the foster carers who spend their time helping young people prepare for their next steps, whether that be moving away to university or transitioning into semi-independent living. This often involves applications, interviews, viewings, and navigating the anxiety and uncertainty that can come with not knowing what the next stage of life will look like.

However, when those young people move on, the support doesn’t stop. There are phone calls about the practical stuff, care packages sent when they’re having a tough time, and invitations home whenever they need a break from the pressures of adult life.

I love hearing stories of care-experienced individuals returning home for birthdays, festive celebrations, summer barbecues and family parties. There are young people who have long since moved into their own homes but still join their foster families on holiday. Some of our carers have supported care-experienced young people through pregnancy, birth and parenthood. They have shared advice during sleepless nights, provided practical help when confidence is low, and celebrated milestones alongside them.

Some carers proudly talk about their former foster children’s children as their grandchildren. What began as a fostering home has evolved into a lifelong family connection and extended support system for the care leaver.

For children who have experienced trauma, instability or loss, these enduring relationships are incredibly powerful. They provide a secure base from which to explore the world, knowing there is always someone to come back to.

The transition into adulthood can be challenging for any young person. Most young adults continue to rely on family members for advice, emotional support and practical help well into their twenties and beyond. Care-experienced young people deserve those same opportunities.

At the heart of therapeutic fostering is the belief that relationships heal. Those relationships do not suddenly lose their importance when a young person reaches a particular age. If anything, they often grow stronger as they evolve from a caring role into an enduring family bond.

I am continually inspired by my foster carers, not only for the support they provide during a fostering arrangement, but for the commitment they show long afterwards. Their willingness to provide unconditional support demonstrates the profound difference that fostering can make.

 

 

 

 

 


If you would like to find out more about fostering and the amazing difference you could make in a young persons life. Give usa call on 0203 757 0070 or click HERE to receive a call back. We’d be happy to answer any questions you may have on fostering and take you through the process.

The Emotional Risk of Unpacking

suite case packing

The Emotional Risk of Unpacking by Victoria Johnson, Senior Supervising Social Worker

As we head into the summer holidays, I’ve found myself thinking about unpacking. Not initially in a social work sense, but in the ordinary, slightly infuriating husband-and-wife sense!

Over the years, I have come to realise there are two types of travellers in this world. There are people like my husband, who seem perfectly content to live out of a suitcase for an entire holiday. His clothes remain exactly where they were packed two weeks ago, he can apparently find everything he needs through some magical rummaging system, and as far as he is concerned, a hotel room is simply somewhere to sleep between adventures.

Then there are people like me. Within a few hours of arriving, I have unpacked everything. Clothes are hung up, toiletries are arranged, furniture may have been subtly repositioned, and the storage has certainly been reorganised. By the time I have finished, I have essentially turned the hotel room into a temporary version of home. Much to my husband’s despair! And whilst I am creating order from chaos, he is usually standing at the door, wondering why on earth we are not already at the beach with an ice cream.

For years, I assumed the difference between us was simply that I like organisation and he doesn’t. Although if you ask him, he would probably suggest I take it a little too far (!). However, underneath that, he has often said something that has always stuck with me. “I don’t really care where I stay. It’s just a bed.” Oddly, that comment has followed me into my social work career more times than I can count.

Because when I think about children moving into foster homes, emergency placements, residential settings or, hopefully, their forever families, one of the things that has struck me most over the years is how many children simply do not want to unpack. In fact, many actively resist it.

Now, unlike my husband, I don’t think this is because they can’t be bothered. Quite the opposite. I think it is because unpacking means far more to them than it does to most of us.

One little girl in particular has stayed with me throughout my career. When I first met her, she would allow me to help unpack her belongings when she moved. We would arrange her teddies and Barbies together, fold her clothes into drawers, and, if I’m honest, I would go as far as to say we found joy in the shared experience of making her new room feel warm and welcoming. But then came another move. And another. And another. By the time we reached her fourth move in as many months, something had changed. She wouldn’t allow us to take her suitcases into her bedroom. She kept them by the door. She refused to unpack. And she maintained that position for the next seven months.

I remember thinking at the time that there must be something much bigger happening here than clothes sitting in a suitcase. The more I reflected on it, the more I realised how much emotional meaning can sit within the simple act of unpacking.

For most of us, unpacking is practical. It barely warrants a second thought. However, for children in care, it can represent something far more significant. After all, they did not choose where they were going to stay. They did not scroll through photographs, compare reviews or decide that this was where they wanted to spend the next chapter of their life. More often than not, they have arrived carrying very little information and even less control. The bedroom they are being shown may be one in a long line of bedrooms they have slept in. The home may be one of several they have entered and later had to leave, often through circumstances entirely outside of their control.

When viewed through that lens, unpacking can feel like a surprisingly big emotional risk.

As Social Workers, carers and professionals, we often talk about attachment, belonging and felt safety. We know that children develop trust through consistency, predictability and relationships that feel safe enough to rely upon. Equally, children who have experienced repeated disruptions often learn to be cautious. To hold something back. To avoid becoming too comfortable too quickly. Not because they are unwilling to connect, but because experience has taught them that people, places and plans can change, sometimes with very little warning.

In many ways, the closed suitcase can become a physical representation of that emotional self-protection, because unpacking requires a degree of hope. It requires a child to believe that this move might be different. It requires them to invest emotionally in a place they barely know, with people they have only just met, whilst carrying the knowledge that previous placements may have ended despite being promised otherwise.

Unpacking also involves giving up a small piece of control. Many of the children we care for have had very little say in where they live, who they live with or when they move on. Decisions have often been made around them, rather than with them. Therefore, it makes sense that unpacking can feel like a much bigger step than adults sometimes realise.

The suitcase says, “I can leave if I need to.”

The wardrobe says, “I’m staying.”

And for a child who has already had to leave several homes, often through no choice of their own, staying can feel like the biggest risk of all.

Of course, we should continue preparing bedrooms, painting walls, choosing bedding and creating welcoming spaces. Those things absolutely matter. They communicate care, and they tell a child that somebody has thought about them before they arrived. However, over the years, I have come to realise that unpacking can mean far more to many looked-after children than it does to the adults around them.

Because unpacking requires trust. Not just the trust needed to put your clothes into somebody else’s drawers, but the trust needed to gradually reveal yourself to the people around you. To share pieces of your story. To lower your guard. To allow yourself to hope and to become attached.

In many ways, unpacking is an act of vulnerability. And vulnerability is frightening for most of us.

If we are honest, many adults spend years carefully deciding who they will and won’t open up to. We don’t walk into a room of strangers and immediately share our fears, our hurts or the most important parts of ourselves. We wait. We watch. We decide whether it feels safe.

The children we care for are no different. In fact, many have far more reason to be cautious than most, and perhaps that is why I have learned not to worry too much about the closed suitcase.

Children settle in all sorts of ways, often giving us subtle clues long before they are ready to unpack their clothes. Sometimes the greatest gift we can offer is simply time and patience, whilst remembering not to take it personally. More often than not, it is not a rejection of the home, the room or the people caring for them. It is simply a child deciding how much of themselves they are ready to unpack.

So, whilst my husband and I will probably continue our annual disagreement about whether unpacking is necessary on holiday, I suspect I will continue thinking about the children who arrive at our doors carrying far more than a suitcase.

Because for some of us, unpacking is simply part of arriving, whilst for others, it means something much bigger.

 

 

 

 

 


If you would like to find out more about fostering and the amazing difference you could make in a young persons life. Give usa call on 0203 757 0070 or click HERE to receive a call back. We’d be happy to answer any questions you may have on fostering and take you through the process.

The Aspire Programme in Action

lunch club

Empowering Young People Through Opportunity: The Aspire Programme in Action 

March 2026 marked an exciting milestone with the launch of the Aspire Programme—a multi-layered initiative designed to create meaningful development, sponsorship, and enrichment opportunities for looked-after children and young people. At its heart, the programme is about building self-esteem, independence, and a strong sense of belonging through experiences that broaden horizons and unlock potential.

For many of the children and young people we support, access to cultural, social, and vocational opportunities has not always been consistent. Yet these experiences are vital in shaping confidence, empathy, and emotional well-being. The Aspire Programme was created to help bridge that gap.

Building Community Connections

In December 2025, a group of our young people spent a memorable afternoon volunteering at the South Croydon Elderly Centre, supporting the centre’s lunch club.

The aim was simple but powerful: to encourage our young people to give back and feel connected to their local community. What followed was a truly special experience. They spent time chatting with members, helping with puzzles and quizzes, serving lunch, and forming genuine connections across generations.

One standout moment was a young person sitting at the piano and playing classical music, creating a calm and uplifting atmosphere for everyone present. In return, the older members shared incredible stories from their wartime experiences to reflections on how Croydon has evolved. It was an afternoon filled with warmth, laughter, and mutual respect, leaving a lasting impression on all involved.

Creating Pathways into Employment

Through the Aspire Programme, we are also committed to opening doors into the world of work. We were proud to partner with Nando’s Beckenham and their fantastic General Manager, Chloe, to create a meaningful and realistic pathway into employment.

During March, four of our young people completed a two-week work experience placement, gaining hands-on experience across multiple roles. From welcoming customers at the front of house to managing online orders and supporting the kitchen team, they developed practical skills while building confidence in a real working environment.

The feedback from our young people speaks volumes. They shared that they felt “part of the team” and “important,” highlighting how supported they were by staff, who provided clear guidance and encouragement to help them succeed. The experience left them feeling that they had made a genuine contribution.

Since completing their placements, all four young people have taken proactive steps towards employment, creating CVs, enquiring about roles, and reaching out to management at the Beckenham branch.

Chloe praised their dedication, positivity, and willingness to learn, describing them as a pleasure to have on site. She also expressed her enthusiasm to continue supporting them, noting that as vacancies arise, she would be keen to put them forward for interviews with the aim of securing permanent roles.

Looking Ahead

We would like to extend a huge thank you to Nando’s Beckenham for leading the way in this initiative and demonstrating a genuine commitment to supporting children and young people in South London. Partnerships like this are invaluable, and we warmly welcome other businesses, both large and small, that share our passion for creating positive opportunities to join us.

Ascent is committed to growing the Aspire Programme and continuing this partnership long term, creating even more opportunities for young people to thrive.

This is a powerful example of what can be achieved when the right opportunities are paired with the right support, helping young people build confidence, develop skills, and take meaningful steps towards independence.

 

 

 

 


If you would like to find out more about fostering and the amazing difference you could make in a young persons life. Give usa call on 0203 757 0070 or click HERE to receive a call back. We’d be happy to answer any questions you may have on fostering and take you through the process.

Practical Tips for New Foster Carers

tips written in letter blocks

Managing Routines, Paperwork, and Building Trust

Becoming a foster carer with Ascent Fostering is one of the most rewarding journeys you can take, but it can also be a challenging one. From managing daily routines to keeping up with paperwork and building trust with children, there’s a lot to navigate. If you’re new to fostering, these practical tips can help you create a stable, supportive, and loving environment for the children in your care.

 

1. Managing Routines

Children in foster care often thrive on stability and predictability. Establishing clear routines early on not only helps them feel safe but also makes daily life more manageable for you.

Tips for Success:

  • Create a Daily Schedule: Consistent meal times, homework routines, and bedtimes provide structure and reassurance and can create a sense of safety and predictability.
  • Prepare for Transitions: Let children know in advance about appointments, social worker visits, or changes in routine.
  • Give Choices: Allow children to make small decisions, like what to wear or what to have for breakfast, to encourage independence, but also to make them feel included in decisions.

  • Visual Aids: Calendars, charts, and checklists can reduce anxiety and help children anticipate what comes next.

 

Tip: Place a weekly visual schedule on the fridge. Seeing what’s coming up helps children feel secure and included.

 

2. Handling Paperwork

Fostering comes with its fair share of paperwork, from care plans and school reports to medical records, training and keeping daily logs. Staying organised makes your role much easier and less stressful.

Tips for Success:

  • Use a Filing System: Keep separate folders for medical, educational, financial, legal documents, and any other information pertaining to your child.
  • Set Reminders: For meetings, reviews, mandatory training, and appointments, to allow for some organisation and meet expectations.
  • Leverage Digital Tools: Apps, spreadsheets, or cloud storage can help you stay on top of documents.
  • Ask for Help: Your Supervising Social Worker and Therapeutic Consultant can offer useful guidance and support.

 

Tip: Keep a “foster care binder” with everything in one place. It’s a lifesaver during meetings or emergencies.

 

3. Building Trust

As a therapeutic fostering agency, we place an emphasis on establishing positive relationships with the children in our care. Trust is the foundation of every successful fostering relationship. It takes time, patience, and consistency to earn a child’s confidence, but it’s worth every effort.

Tips for Success:

  • Be Consistent: Keep promises, follow routines, and show reliability.
  • Listen Actively: Make time to hear the child’s thoughts and feelings without judgment.
  • Acknowledge Emotions: Validating feelings, even difficult ones, helps children feel understood.
  • Celebrate Small Wins: Recognise achievements, no matter how minor, to boost confidence and strengthen bonds.

 

Tip: Trust often starts with small gestures, like being present and showing a genuine interest in them and their well-being.

 

In conclusion, fostering is a journey of growth, learning, and patience. There’s no “perfect” foster carer; what matters most is your commitment to providing stability, support, and love and your willingness to go on a journey to becoming a therapeutic foster carer. By establishing routines, staying organised, and nurturing trust, you can make a lasting, positive impact on a child’s life. Building connections with other experienced foster carers within Ascent, attending training, engaging in supervision with your Supervising Social Worker, and sessions with your Therapeutic Consultant can further support your journey as a new foster carer, so be sure to utilise all the support available to you within the agency.

 

By Nicky Challen-Probert, Team Manager

 

 

 


If you would like to find out more about fostering and the amazing difference you could make in a young persons life. Give usa call on 0203 757 0070 or click HERE to receive a call back. We’d be happy to answer any questions you may have on fostering and take you through the process.

What Is the Difference Between Adoption and Foster Care?

The Difference Between Adoption & Foster Care

Both adoption and foster care provide children with safe, nurturing homes when they are unable to live with their birth families. While they share the same aim of helping children feel secure and supported, they differ in purpose, legal status and the role of the carers involved. The key difference is permanence.

Adoption offers a permanent legal family for a child. Foster care can offer long-term care and stability, but it is not legally seen as a permanent arrangement. The child usually remains legally part of their birth family, and foster carers support the child as part of a wider professional team working towards the child’s long-term plan.

What Is Therapeutic Foster Care?

Therapeutic foster care involves parenting, caring for, and supporting children and young people who have often experienced trauma, loss or disruption in their early lives. The focus is not only on providing a safe home, but also on emotional development and positive relationships. To help the child heal and make sense of their early life experience.

Foster care can provide children with emergency, short-term or long-term care. Many children live with foster families for several years and experience stability and belonging within that home. However, fostering is not permanent in a legal sense. As the child remains under the care of the local authority and connections with their birth family are often maintained.

As a therapeutic foster carer, you provide:

  • A safe, stable and nurturing home
  • Consistent routines and emotional security
  • Therapeutic parenting that supports recovery from trauma through building meaningful relationships
  • Look past their presenting behaviour and show curiosity into their inner world and what their behaviour may be communicating, and reflect on how this could relate to their early life experiences
  • Understanding, patience and resilience during periods of change and uncertainty

Foster carers work as part of a professional network, alongside social workers, therapists and the fostering agency. They receive ongoing training, supervision and therapeutic support to help meet the child’s individual needs.

What Is Adoption?

Adoption is a legal process through which adoptive parents become a child’s permanent parents. Parental responsibility transfers fully to the adoptive family, and the child becomes a permanent legal member of that family.

Adoption is usually considered when:

  • A child cannot safely return to their birth family
  • A permanent legal family is required to meet the child’s needs

Following adoption, social care involvement usually reduces, and adoptive parents take full responsibility for all aspects of the child’s care.

Key Differences Between Adoption and Foster Care

Foster Care

Adoption

Can be long-term, but is not legally permanent Permanent and lifelong
Child remains legally part of birth family Legal ties to the birth family change
Foster carers work as part of a professional team and hold Delegated Authority. Adoptive parents hold full parental responsibility. Adoptive parents can legally change their child’s name.
Ongoing support, supervision and training provided Less ongoing professional involvement
Focus on stability, healing and support. Focus on permanent family membership.

Two Different but Equally Important Roles

Adoption and foster care both play vital roles in supporting children who cannot live with their birth families. Adoption provides lifelong legal permanence. Fostering provides stability, care and emotional support for children over the long term, while recognising that the child’s legal and family identity remains important.

Foster carers offer consistency and nurturing relationships while longer-term plans are followed, whether that is returning home, long-term fostering or adoption. Their role is central in helping children feel safe, understood and able to thrive.

Understanding the difference can help you decide how you would like to support children in care. If you would like to learn more about becoming a therapeutic foster carer with Ascent, you may find our guide to fostering helpful.

 

 

 


If you would like to find out more about fostering and the amazing difference you could make in a young persons life. Give usa call on 0203 757 0070 or click HERE to receive a call back. We’d be happy to answer any questions you may have on fostering and take you through the process.

Do Foster Carers Get Paid or Receive Financial Support?

One of the most common questions people ask when considering fostering is: “Do foster carers get paid?”

The simple answer is yes. Foster carers do receive financial support. Fostering is an incredibly rewarding role, but it also comes with real responsibilities and costs. To make sure carers can provide a stable, nurturing home without being out of pocket, foster parents receive a fostering allowance. And may also benefit from tax relief and access to certain benefits.

We believe foster carers should be properly supported. Both emotionally and financially, so they can focus on what truly matters: providing excellent care to children and young people.

Understanding Fostering Allowances

Foster carers receive a weekly fostering allowance for each child in their care, which Ascent pay fortnightly. This allowance is designed to cover the costs of caring for the child, including:

  • Food and clothing
  • Transport to school, appointments, family time, or activities
  • Pocket money and hobbies
  • Household expenses
  • Special occasions and celebrations

At Ascent, our fostering allowances are designed to reflect the real costs of caring for children, ensuring that our carers are never financially disadvantaged for the incredible work they do. As we are a therapeutic fostering agency, our fees reflect the complexity and wrap-around support we provide to the foster carer, child and professional network.

Tax Relief for Foster Carers

Foster carers benefit from a special tax scheme introduced by HMRC called Qualifying Care Relief. This makes the tax process straightforward and often means that carers pay little or no tax on their fostering income.

Under this scheme:

  • You can earn up to a set tax-free allowance each year for your fostering work (currently £18,140 per household, plus an additional weekly amount for each child in your care).
  • If your fostering income stays below this threshold, you don’t need to pay tax on it.
  • Even if you earn more, you’ll only pay tax on the amount above the allowance.

This system recognises the valuable service foster carers provide and ensures fostering remains financially sustainable for families.

Benefits and Additional Financial Support

Foster carers may also be eligible for certain state benefits, depending on their circumstances. These could include:

  • Child Benefit: Usually not paid for foster children (since the fostering allowance replaces it).
  • Universal Credit: Foster carers can usually claim Universal Credit for themselves, but the fostering allowance isn’t counted as income when calculating entitlement.
  • Council Tax Reduction: Depending on your income and local authority, you might qualify for a reduction.

Each carer’s situation is unique, so at Ascent, all our foster carers are registered with Foster Talk, who are able to offer independent support and advice on fostering finances.

Fostering Is Not Just About Money — But Support Matters

While financial support is an important part of fostering, most carers will tell you that the true rewards are emotional rather than monetary — seeing a child grow in confidence, smile again, and feel safe for the first time.

Still, we know that practical support matters. That’s why Ascent provides clear information about allowances, pays on time, and ensures that our carers are never left uncertain about what they’re entitled to.

In addition to allowances, we offer a robust support, including support from a qualified social worker, a Therapeutic Consultant, an Out of Hours service, Stay over Breaks (sometimes known as respite), training and events.

At Ascent, we value the work our foster carers do and ensure they’re supported in every way — financially, emotionally, and professionally. If you’re thinking about becoming a foster carer and want to understand more about the financial support available, our team is always happy to explain how it works and what you can expect.

 

 

 


If you would like to find out more about fostering and the amazing difference you could make in a young persons life. Give usa call on 0203 757 0070 or click HERE to receive a call back. We’d be happy to answer any questions you may have on fostering and take you through the process.

The importance of Partnership Working with Local Authorities

Partnership Working through a lens of working with Developmental Trauma

Current policy and practice around looked-after children stresses that a central aspect of social work practice to achieve meeting the needs of looked-after children is building relationships and collaborating with professionals from diverse backgrounds. This is due to the multiple and complex needs of looked-after children, which require various skills, lenses, people, and professions.

A looked-after child’s social worker is often the lead professional in the network that works around the children we care for, and it is the responsibility of the local authority to assess a child’s needs for services and prepare a care plan that supports a child’s development and progress. The plan must consider permanency and arrangements to meet the child’s health, educational, as well as their emotional and behavioural development, identity, and cultural background, with particular regard to their religious, racial, and linguistic origins.

The plan also involves others, such as policymakers, local leaders, commissioners, professionals, and caregivers, all of whom have a duty of care. It is also our job to critically reflect, advocate, and consider the child’s needs, experiences, and interests, which should be at the centre of decision-making that is about them. This can be a challenging job and can feel like it has enormous implications for the child you are working with or caring for.

An essential factor in social work practice is making best-interest, child-centred decisions that align with a child’s wishes and feelings, where possible. Understanding the wishes and feelings of any child can be a challenge; however, when complex trauma occurs, it brings further complexities to communicating and being understood. Complex trauma occurs when an individual has been exposed to multiple traumatic events that have immediate consequences and long-term outcomes. When complex trauma happens in childhood, it can disrupt a child’s development, which is referred to as Developmental Trauma (DT).

Schore (2009) researched the interpersonal neurobiology of trauma, proposing that a person’s early experiences of abuse and neglect can go on to impact their biological structure and the functioning of the brain and nervous system across the course of their lifespan. Identifying that attachment trauma is particularly harmful in disrupting the developmental trajectory of the brain/mind/body systems. The impact of interrelation harm is also about the neurological developmental opportunities the brain is missing out on. It is through healthy interpersonal communication that brain growth and development are stimulated. Particularly, the development of self-regulation processes that stabilise the mind to be open, objective, and communicate effectively about internal and external realities.

Schore (2009) indicates that children who have experienced complex trauma may struggle to relate to us (i.e., professionals) in a way that helps to understand their experience. This means that interrupting behaviours and understanding hidden needs are key to responding appropriately to needs within care planning. Due to the children’s complex histories, more time may be necessary to develop a relationship in which the children’s defences could be lowered and their internal world can be understood. To advocate for and create a care plan in a child’s best interest, while considering their true wishes and feelings, requires time, consistency, and building a relationship. Part of the Therapeutic Consultant’s role at Ascent is to also work with the professional network to be curious about the child’s inner world and understand how their early life experiences have shaped or influenced how they perceive or interact with the world. And therefore, help the professionals network, including the foster parents, to think about how we support them.

At Ascent, we are passionate about hearing our children’s voices. There are many ways in which we support our children in having different platforms to express their views. This may be at their education or review meetings with the support of their foster parents, mentors or therapists. We also enable our young people to shape Ascent services and provisions through our annual Children’s Consultation and Youth Council.

Ravalier et al.’s (2020) research into social care identified that a key contribution to stress for social workers was connected to case allocation, the complexity of cases, coupled with the increase in paperwork, which then hindered their ability to have the time to build meaningful relationships and complete direct work to inform decision-making. This research demonstrates the importance of how, as part of the professional network supporting the foster family and child, we build these key relationships, where connection can occur and a child’s internal world can be seen (i.e., unspoken fears, competing desires, or quiet struggles). Accordingly, this will help facilitate care plans that are tailored to meet individual needs. Therefore, at Ascent, our therapeutic thinking enables us to reflect and explore as a network some of the challenges, but also work together to enable a child to thrive.

It can be challenging, as well as rewarding, to work with people who have experienced complex trauma. It may involve a lot of firefighting and may, at times, feel relentless. This is often because a child is usually attached to many dysfunctional systems. Remembering that this is a systemic issue and taking the time to pay attention to how it could be impacting you as a foster parent or professional, you’re loved ones, and your environment is essential. Reflective practice is a crucial part of this, and at Ascent, each Therapeutic Consultant will meet with foster parents and Supervising Social Workers to reflect on the presenting needs and challenges the network, or the child, may be facing and think through how to overcome these. We also encourage and promote the importance of prioritising self-care, as it is critical for anyone working with complex trauma to maintain balance and prevent burnout.

 

 

Josephina Thomas, Therapeutic Consultant

 

 


If you would like to find out more about fostering and the amazing difference you could make in a young persons life. Give usa call on 0203 757 0070 or click HERE to receive a call back. We’d be happy to answer any questions you may have on fostering and take you through the process.

Autumn Reflections at Ascent

Autumn Reflections at Ascent by Mark Pomell, Managing Director

The autumn months in fostering are all about helping our children and carers settle back into school life. It’s also about supporting our young people to reconnect, encouraging them to build friendships, join clubs, and feel part of something bigger. We know that when young people develop strong friendship groups early on, they’re better equipped to sustain lasting, healthy relationships later in life.

After summer, there’s always a flurry of family time to manage and support. This can be an anxious period for some children and families, but it’s a crucial part of maintaining identity and connection. At Ascent, we take pride in doing this well, ensuring that family time feels safe, meaningful, and supported.

Building community is everything to us. Helping young people stay engaged in school and feel connected to others underpins everything we do. The fostering team works incredibly hard behind the scenes, coordinating looked-after reviews, personal education plan meetings, and foster carers’ annual reviews, alongside the day-to-day support that keeps placements strong. Autumn is always a busy stretch as we prepare for the run-up to Christmas.

Personally, this is also the time when I start looking ahead, planning for the new year and meeting with my senior team to set priorities and make sure we have the right resources in place to start strong. Building relationships and community continues to sit at the heart of what we do. This year, we’ve been thinking about ways to deepen the connections within our carer group and with the young people we support.

The upcoming October half-term will see a two-day event focused on independence, self-care, and wellness for our young people. We’re really excited to have the support of Donna Dia, founder of The Beauty Beat, who has kindly provided self-care gifts to encourage confidence and wellbeing. A huge thank you to Donna and her team for helping us make this happen.

 

 

Mark Pomell, Managing Director

 

 


If you would like to find out more about fostering and the amazing difference you could make in a young persons life. Give usa call on 0203 757 0070 or click HERE to receive a call back. We’d be happy to answer any questions you may have on fostering and take you through the process.

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