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What is respite foster care?

Whilst a child is in care their foster parents may need to take some valuable time out either to recharge their batteries, deal with family circumstances or have time to heal from illness. It’s at these times we would reach out to our respite families to have the child or children come and stay for a short period of time in respite foster care.  Stays could be just overnight or potentially for a week or two, some children receive regular respite.

During their stay, the respite carer would take on the full responsibility of the primary foster carer, ensuring that the daily routines and structure in place are maintained to give stability. This could mean facilitating the school run and after school activities, birth family contact, health professional appointments, etc.  We encourage our respite carers to build positive relationships with our young people by involving them with aspects of your own life.

Here are a few quotes our respite carers would like to share.

“As respite foster parents, every child we have looked after has had a positive impact on our lives”

“We aim to find out about the child ‘s routine, likes/dislikes before their stay from their main foster parent(s) and/or the agency so that we can maintain consistency and, if possible, meet them in an environment which is most comfortable for them; this can be a visit to our home or their home or a meeting in a park/public space.”

“A meal together at the table or a slice of cake creates a warm welcome for our foster children on arrival.”

“We have enjoyed many long walks, through woods, parks and countryside with our foster children and sometimes together with our extended family.
For those older children who like animals, we have walked rescue greyhound dogs.
We have fond memories of sitting in our garden for hours with a teenager discussing current affairs.”

Could you become a respite foster carer?

All we ask for is a spare room in a loving home, your patience, resilience, time, and compassion. No experience is necessary, however, experience with children with complex behaviour is always an added bonus. Respite placements are usually planned and there is normally time for you to meet with the young person prior to them staying with you.

The process to become a respite carer is the same as becoming a foster carer, you will receive the same training opportunities, be assigned your own supervising social worker, and be included in all our family activities regardless if you have a child in placement or not. Steps to becoming a foster carer.

If you would like to find out more about respite fostering and help make a positive impact on a child’s life, please call us on 203 757 0070 or click on the link to request a callback.

Without foster carers we wouldn’t be able to do what we do. They are the backbone to our agency and allow us to provide loving, supportive environments for young people to thrive.

Being a foster carer is a full-time, 24/7 job. Foster carers don’t have the luxury of clocking off at 5pm each day and then winding down on the weekends. They have chosen a role that requires them to give so much of themselves mentally, physically and emotionally on a daily basis. Many of the children and young people who come to Ascent have had a traumatic start to life which means they usually present extremely challenging behaviours that need extra care and attention in order to support them.

With that being said, as much as foster caring can be a rewarding experience, in the same breath it can also be a very demanding and draining role that takes a lot out of you. Which is why we think it is important to provide foster carers with a strong support system to guide them through their time as a foster carer. It doesn’t matter how experienced you are as a foster parent, you still need a network of support.

Here at Ascent Fostering Agency, we provide that support in a multitude of ways, ensuring that each of our foster carers have access to support that works for them. We host a fortnightly group supervision session, adopt an open-door policy where our carers can feel comfortable enough to drop in and speak to the team, organise social events annually and provide a calendar of training sessions each month. We encourage our foster carers to build connections with one another as it helps to know people who share similar experiences to you.

Having strong support from your family and friends can make all the difference. Action For Children spoke to foster carers in the UK and asked them to share the support they had received from family and friends. Simple gestures such as building connections with foster children, taking them out and helping out with homework can make all the difference to a foster carer. Friends and family are a reliable lifeline to our foster carers. They make a difference to vulnerable children by being available, reliable, and because they care.

Becoming a foster carer is a huge responsibility and having the right support network can make the journey a lot easier. As a fostering agency, we believe it is our responsibility to build a support framework to provide our carers with all the tools they need to help them on their fostering journey.

If you have been thinking about becoming a foster carer, or have questions about fostering you can join us at one of our Online Information Evening sessions, where you can learn more about fostering in South London and what it is all about. Sign up here to attend one of our sessions.

A large majority of children who come into foster care have experienced trauma. Being a foster carer for children who have experienced early life trauma – such as emotional and physical violence – can be challenging, complex and confusing. For children, experiencing severe early trauma can manifest in difficult behaviours, resulting in unsuccessful foster care placements.

What Is Trauma?

Trauma is an emotional response to an intense event that threatens or causes harm. The harm can be physical or emotional, real or perceived, and it can threaten the child or someone close to him or her. Trauma can be the result of a single event, or it can result from exposure to multiple events over time.

When children have experienced trauma, particularly multiple traumatic events over an extended period, their bodies, brains, and nervous systems adapt in an effort to protect them. This might result in behaviors such as increased aggression, distrusting or disobeying adults, or even dissociation (feeling disconnected from reality). When children are in danger, these behaviors may be important for their survival. However, once children are moved to a safer environment, their brains and bodies may not recognize that the danger has passed.

How to help?

At Ascent Fostering, we believe in a therapeutic approach in everything that we do. Which is why all foster carers, members of staff, support staff and mentors all have been trained to have a therapeutic understanding.

Ensuring that we understand the root of trauma and the effects that it can have on a child, allows us to build trust to create strong and meaningful relationships.

Seeing the world from the child’s perspective informs how we engage and go on the journey with them. By being a supportive and caring adult, children can and do recover from trauma.

Here are a few helpful tips that you can do to help your child on their journey:

• Respond, don’t react: Sometimes your reactions may trigger your child and if it does, remember to stay calm and reassuring. Acknowledge their feelings and be sure to talk them through their emotions until they feel relaxed.
• Don’t take it personally: Allow your child to feel their feelings without judgment. Help them to find acceptable ways to express their feelings and give them praise when they do so.
• Listen: Don’t avoid difficult topics or uncomfortable conversations. (But don’t force children to talk before they are ready.) Let children know that it’s normal to have many feelings after a traumatic experience. Take their reactions seriously and reassure them that what happened was not their fault.
• Be consistent and predictable: Develop a regular routine for meals, play time, and bedtime. Prepare your child in advance for changes or new experiences.

Help yourself

Parenting a child or youth who has experienced trauma can be difficult. Families can sometimes feel isolated, as if no one else understands what they are going through. This can put a strain not only on your relationship with your child, but with other family members, as well (including your spouse or partner).

Learning about what your child experienced may even act as a trigger for you, if you have your own trauma history that is not fully healed. In order to take good care of your child, you must take good care of yourself as a foster parent.

It’s important to be honest about your expectations, having realistic expectations about parenting a child with trauma improves the chances of a healthy relationship.

Learn not to take things personally and understand that your child’s struggles are a result of their trauma and does not reflect on your parenting or you as an individual.

Lastly, be sure to seek support when needed. Don’t be afraid to reach out to the resources that you have available to you.

Conclusion

Understanding trauma is a huge part of overcoming it. And by walking through it with your child every step of the way, they know that they are not alone.

New Chapters mark a new beginning, a moment in your life that marks significant change. Every person experiences new chapters throughout their life.

Whilst exciting for most, new beginnings for some young people can be anxiety-provoking. As a foster carer you are likely to know what we are talking about, but we thought we would think about potential challenges for people who find change and the unknown challenging at times.

We share a few tips to help both you and your foster child sail through these new journeys and make them positive experiences:

Open space

Initiating an open conversation can make such a huge difference to the children in your care and your relationship with each other. Most of us at some stage will have said to a child –  “I bet you can’t wait to get back to school to see all your friends” or “look how smart you look in your uniform – I bet you are really excited to go back?” Whilst we mean well, this cold potentially make a hidden anxiety even harder to share.

Instead, why not try using open questions? Perhaps ask them how they feel about the new school year or how they imagine this will be?

Creating a safe, comfortable space to enable a young person to talk and be listened to helps to ensure you can collaboratively address any concerns they may have and strengthen the bond between you.

Celebrate

Sadly many of the young people we care for have had little experience of being celebrated. You may find that focusing on their achievements whether this is attendance, grades, making friends, being kind to peers etc. can increase the positive emotions associated with change and development and could boost their confidence and self-esteem.

Shared Traditions

Why not try establishing a new tradition with your young person to enable them to celebrate new chapters in their lives. For instance, support them to begin collecting something they are interested in and use this to reward them for every full week of school attendance for instance. Or, if they receive a positive school report, this could mean they choose a day out. Rewards do not have to be extravagant, it could be that on a Friday, the young person gets to choose the dinner menu for instance if they have had a positive week in school. Rewards and rituals can help a young person to feel excitement rather than anxiety about new chapters in their lives.

Reflection

Entering a new phase in life can present an opportunity to reflect on how far you have come and how much you have achieved. Try initiating an open conversation about this to support your child/young person to identify their successes and view the journey ahead as an exciting development from what has gone before.

Change is something that we cannot escape; it is an inevitable part of life. So when we can learn to embrace change in whatever capacity it comes, it no longer seems so overwhelming.

This year will mark 8 years since Ascent Fostering began and we thought it would be a good idea to reintroduce ourselves.

A lot has changed since 2013, our team has grown, the number of carers has increased, we’ve learnt a lot on the journey and have even adjusted to working through a pandemic. However, what has remained the same and has kept us going as a fostering agency, is our core values.

These core values are what makes Ascent Fostering Agency, the agency that it is today. We believe these values are what sets us apart from many other fostering agencies. These values have created a strong family dynamic and culture within the agency, where every team member, carer and young person are welcomed and heard.

So what are the Ascent values?:

• WE GO OVER AND ABOVE IN OUR PROVISION FOR YOUNG PEOPLE
  • Young people are listened to and actions are taken.
  • We believe in and conduct a therapeutic philosophy.
  • All young people are offered access to a wide range of after school and holiday activities.
  • All young people are offered a 1:1 trained mentor.
  • We encourage therapeutic assessment for all young people with therapeutic support offered, as appropriate.

• SUPPORTING OUR CARERS IS AT THE HEART OF THE ORGANISATION
  • We communicate clearly with Carers, treating them as valued professionals.
  • Our carers all access an extensive monthly training programme.
  • Carers have a voice and their feedback shapes decisions.
  • The organisation supports carers through promoting their wellbeing.
  • We offer a strong financial support package to carers to allow them to focus on the children.

• OUR TEAM FEEL VALUED AND ARE DEVELOPING THEIR SKILLS
  • We invest in the professional development of staff.
  • Our team understands the vision of the business.
  • Everyone has a voice in the organisation.
  • We create a fun place to work.
  • We respect people as mature individuals and encourage a work-life balance.

At the heart of Ascent Fostering is the determination to provide a therapeutic approach in all that we do. The agency works with children and young people who have a range of complex care needs. We stay committed to building a strong relationship with young people and accepting where they are at when coming to Ascent, we aim to see the world from their perspective which informs how we engage and go on their journey with them.

Our fostering model and structure is based on ‘Intentional Parenting’, believing that the onus is on adults to respond to the unmet needs of children positively. We understand that it is challenging to care for traumatised children, so the network needs to be trained, attuned and have the ability to see past the child’s presenting behaviours. We believe that carers and professionals need to act intentionally in their interactions with vulnerable children by providing nurture, affirmation, love, safety, structure and challenge in the hope to give them strategies to cope and move on positively with their lives.

If there is anything that we want to be known for, it’s for ensuring that everything we do is for the benefit of the children and young people who come into our care. Essentially, every team member we hire, each carer who comes on board and all our extended colleagues must have the benefit of the children and young people at the core of all that they do.

Yes, we are a fostering agency, but more importantly, we are a family where each person is highly valued and appreciated. Each person plays an integral role in making Ascent Fostering the agency that it is.

Would you like to learn more about Ascent Fostering Agency? Read our full ‘Statement of Purpose’ here. Or if you are thinking about becoming a foster carer, then click here to get in contact with one of our team.

Looking for a new challenge in your career, then joining the Ascent team may be the next career step. See our current career opportunities here.

Many people ask what do you need to become a good foster carer. Do I need a big house? Do I need copious amounts of cash? Do I need a big 4×4? Do I need to be qualified? Do I need to have children of my own? Do I need a partner?

These are questions we get asked a lot when people inquire about becoming a foster carer for Ascent, and although there are some mandatory requirements to become a foster carer, such as having a spare bedroom, what it actually takes to be a “good” foster carer is much simpler.

The Beatles said it best – all you need is love.

Being able to give a child unconditional and stable love is the simple foundation that is needed for a looked after child. Many of the children and young people in foster care have experienced trauma in some form or another and speak of the importance of being loved, feeling loved and being valued and supported.

Countless studies have shown that giving a child love vastly contributes to healthy development – resulting in life-long positive outcomes. Child Trends studies highlight that higher self-esteem, improved academic performance, better communication and fewer psychological and behaviour problems have been linked to children who encounter warmth and affection from adults in their lives.

The question that comes up frequently is ‘How can I love a child who isn’t biologically mine?’, the answer – love is choice, a decision you make despite your feelings and emotions and to go against the instincts you will be challenged with. It’s an action and a commitment to saying that no matter what I face, I will still continue to love.

We have all heard the saying ‘love conquers all’, and when you are or do decide to become a foster carer, love is what will help your young person thrive into the best person they can be. Being a foster carer is the opportunity to introduce a love that many children may not have come across before. A love that is patient, kind, consistent, understanding, stern, with boundaries and isn’t conditional.

Here at Ascent Fostering, we make sure that love is at the heart of each family and this Valentine’s Day we wanted to bring forth the message of love and the importance it holds in foster care.

Share the love, spread the love. Always

If you would like to find out more about how to become a foster carer, please get in touch with us and one of our team members will be happy to speak with you. Click here for further information.